Excalibur
by Kotohime Haku
Summary: When Excalibur meets Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu.


Allen Walker softly stroked the smooth piano keys, softly gazing down at it. Before he knew it, he took a seat and started to play the piano. The lyrics, the notes…they all just came naturally, as if he knew it already.

_Soushite, bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita_

_Ikkizuku hai no naka no hoono hitotsu, futatsu to…_

Suddenly.

"Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to California~! Excalibur~ Excalibur~"

His eyes popped out comically as his fingers abruptly stopped. "W-What…?" He slowly turned his head, taking a peek over his shoulder.

No one was there.

He raised an eyebrow. But he quickly dismissed it. Must've been his imagination or something.

He turned around and then—

"Fool!"

"GAAH!"

Allen slammed right on the ground, his jaws hanging open in an unbelievable manner. "Wh-What that heck?"

"Fool! Is this how you react when you see me?"

Allen crawled away from him, pointing his trembling finger at him. "Wh-What are you—how did you get in here?"

"Fool! That doesn't matter right now!" It pointed a cane at him. Yes, as you all expected… It's the holy Excalibur!

"My era began a few years back," he said, putting his hands on cane. "Yes, that's when I was still here."

"Here?" Allen exclaimed. "This is the Ark, and it wasn't even—"

"Fool!" He pointed the cane at him. "Don't talk when I'm speaking! Yes, that was when I was still here at the Black Order. I was the star of everyone and everyone always wanted to be around me—it was a pain in the neck, but I treated everyone equally and fairly—yes, at that time, I was known as the best Exorcist around, despite my attitude, and even when I get injured, the beautiful Head Nurse would treat me with love and care—yes, I was in love—"

Allen stared at him with the corner of his lip stretched downwards. This _creature _just came out of nowhere and just started to talk about this cra—I mean history. Heck, how did he even know about the Black Order _and _get inside the Ark?

Nevertheless, Excalibur rambled on. "—I told them, 'I'm a weapon myself, and I'm an Exorcist, I shall never fall!' And the Head Nurse gazed me with those lovely eyes of hers, ah, yes, I was in love with those eyes—Yes, I was in lo—"

A vein popped on the Exorcist's white head, trembling. This idiot barged in, running his mouth off, and then just—ARGH! Allen wanted to just slap his mouth shut forever!

At that moment, as if his pleads were heard, the door busted open.

"Allen!"

He turned around. "K-Komui-san!" Komui jogged in, followed by the rest of the Science Department members.

"Allen, have you seen a white creature thing?" Komui asked.

"White creature—"

Reever intervened, his cigarette drooping down his mouth. "Supervisor, look." He directed his finger straight ahead.

Komui automatically followed his finger.

"—And so I eloped with her that night because the Black Order doesn't allow ant relationship, especially with Exorcists, so I eloped, fled, and then we ended up in France, but then holy, they caught us even to there! I was desperate, so then I—"

"FOUND YOU!" Komui exclaimed out loud. "Everyone, get him!"

"Yes, sir!" replied the Science Department diligently. Every single one of them leaped into the air, their hands curved with great intention to grab and capture the annoying guy.

"—Head Nurse said, 'Ah, Ex—" He abruptly stopped his sentence. His eyes gave a glint, and he swiftly dodged out of the falling Science Department collapsing and piling up on one another like a ballerina.

"Fool!" He said, directing his cane at them. "I told you not to speak while I'm speaking, fool!"

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his "top quality British-made sushi roll."

"Hey, what do you fools thing your doing? Unhand me right now!"

"Sorry, Excalibur," Reever said with a sigh. "We can't afford to lose you again."

"Fool!" Excalibur slammed the tip of his cane onto Reever's face. Ouch.

He jumped out of his grasp and made a run to the door.

"Ah, he's getting away again!" Komui exclaimed.

"Adieu, young boy," Excalibur said, pointing his cane at the flabbergasted Allen. "We shall me again!" And so he jogged away, singing, "Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for—"

The entire Science Department snapped. "SHUT UP!"

That night, Allen's head was full of the events that occurred today. Mainly Excalibur. Yes, he couldn't get it off his head. Especially this.

_Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to California~ Excalibur, Excalibur, Excalibur!_

A sweatdrop fell down. Well, in Allen's opinion, he doesn't seem to be a threat or anything… Besides, he seems too stupid to even be considered a threat.

But he sure is annoying.

Allen rolled to his side, trying to sleep. But Excalibur's song kept echoing in his head over and over again… Just like a curse.

_Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to Cali—_

The Exorcist buried his head into his pillow and groaned. Sheesh, even BaKanda doesn't make him this irritated.

The next day.

Allen came into Komui's office, dark rings under his droopy eyes, hair sticking out and curling, and his shoulders slouching down.

"Are you ok, Allen?" Komui asked, sipping his coffee. "I'm sorry to see you in such a state, but this is something only you can do."

Allen yawned groggily, trying to keep his eyes up. "…What is it…?"

"Well, well, you know~" Komui tried to play innocent, scratching his head with those innocent round blushes. "If only we have _that _person's powers, then maybe we can really defeat the Earl this time, you know? So I'm gonna have to ask you and Kanda to—"

Allen's bloodshot eyes shot open. Red veins crawled out from his red, groggy eyes as his eyes widened so horrifyingly that he was like a Demon Lord dying to kill someone for disturbing his sleep!

"What!" Allen hollered, leaning closer to the cowering Komui who put up his hands defensively. "You want me to go with BaKanda, again?"

"Now, now, c-calm down, Allen-kun," Komui said nervously, backing up closer to the wall. "I chose you two simply because I know you'll do this mission just fine, and besides, Kanda probably isn't going to kill you or anything—"

"Komui-san…" Allen hissed, his bloodshot tired eyes aching even further.

"Stop being such a wuss and get it over with, you stupid beansprout."

Allen heard that familiar and yet irritating and arrogant voice. He turned his head around, his bloodshot eyes meeting those calm and deadly eyes.

"My name is _Allen_."

Kanda simply ignored him and walked right up to Komui. "So? What's this mission about?"

"Don't ignore me!"

Kanda snorted.

"Ah, just retrieve a sword and you're done!" Komui said almost too cheerily, with flowers behind him for effects. "Use the Ark and you'll be just fine!" He pushed the two of them out of his office and led them to the Ark. "Papa will be waiting for your return!" He waved a handkerchief.

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!" Kanda shouted, but before he can even strangle the supervisor, Kanda was already inside the Ark.

As the door shut tight, Komui mumbled, "…I really hope this'll work."

Inside the Ark, Allen and Kanda were walking, giving each other the death stares.

"Stop looking at me, beansprout," Kanda snorted.

"My name is _Allen_, you moron," Allen responded. "Ah, but Kanda's head is empty and there's nothing but muscle inside it, so I guess it's natural he doesn't even know my name." He mocked a shrug with a smug grin.

A vein popped on Kanda's head. He gripped on Mugen. "You little beansprout…"

Allen ignored him and walked right up to the door. "Oh, here's the door. Hurry up, BaKanda, or do I have to drag you here?"

Kanda grumbled and released his grip on Mugen, mumbling, "I will kill him one day." He walked up and went right through the door.

Kanda raised an eyebrow. Isn't this just a cave? Why would there be a sword in a cave like this?

He simply breathed out through his nose and began to walk through the ground flooded with water, with Allen following behind.

"Hey, don't get so close to me," Kanda growled.

"It's not like I can help it," Allen said. "Oh, look. It's a fairy!" The small fairy flew up to them, her small body glowing. As expected from fairies. "So they do exist."

Kanda grunted. It must be some kind of trick or something. Fairies don't exist.

"Are you two here to see Excalibur?" the fairy asked, and Allen nodded. The fairy blinked, before giving them an evil snicker and smirk, and then flew off.

He blinked his eyes wide—who knew that fairies were able to snicker and smirk?

"Hmph, let's go already," Kanda grumbled. "We're wasting time here."

"I got it even without you telling me!" Allen retorted. Both of them walked out of the water and walked on the solid ground. There, they saw light shining down on a sword that was stuck on a stone. The sword glimmered, showing off its glow.

"Wow…" Allen mumbled. He couldn't find any other words to describe it. The sword was truly beautiful.

That was the only time Allen ever thought that. And he regretted doing what he did next: He pulled out the sword easily like butter.

Suddenly, a voice called out, "Young man, so we meet once again!"

Allen's eyes bulged. Thi-This voice…

The sword disappeared in his hand, and was replaced was…

"Excalibur reappears once again!" Excalibur began to laugh "majestically."

Kanda Yuu stared at the creature with a blank look. Despite his face, his first impressions on Excalibur: He's a complete idiot.

Excalibur jumped on his Allen's hand and landed onto the ground, tapping his cane in front of him. Then he pointed his cane at both Allen and Kanda.

"You want to hear? My past."

"We don't have time—" Kanda began, but he was quickly interrupted by the annoying sword, which made him quite annoyed.

"So you want to hear? Ok!" Oh dear. "My era began a few years ago. Ever since they found out I was the president of a company, they took me away from my home. They said, 'You don't need a home! You have your company!' I couldn't retort back, simply because they would destroy my only company as well. So, with no other choice, I had to—"

"You should've just destroyed them," Kanda said blandly.

"Fool!" He aimed his cane at him. "Don't speak while I speak! Anyways, I soon became a gang leader after that. I was left so desperate, that I couldn't even mourn anymore."

"What the hell did you mourn about?" Kanda asked nonchalantly.

"Fool, be quiet! I soon found my only love soon in the streets—"

"Didn't you say your love was the Head Nurse?" Allen spoke up. He really needed to shut this guy up.

"Be quiet! Anyways. My fellow members protested, saying how they absolutely needed me, but I couldn't abandon my love of my life, either—I was making the ultimate choice—"

Kanda hissed. He slowly dragged Mugen out…

"—In the end, I chose to leave both! I soon became a mechanic after that—"

Allen's bangs darkened his eyes, as he mumbled softly, "Innocence, activate."

"—I made weapons for everyone all around the world, and soon after that, I was known for my sense of humor so I—"

Kanda completely took out his Innocence and took his position.

"—Anyways, I was known as the best literature comedic mechanic and so I—"

Allen readied Crown Clown.

"—I made all types of swords and weapons; there was no one in the world that could resist my looks and skills—"

They both pointed their swords at Excalibur, who was still rambling on and facing his back towards them.

They both slowly brought the sword above their heads.

"—Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to—"

"Shut…" They irritatingly lashed their swords at him. "…UP!"

Excalibur's eyes glinted as he blocked both of their swords with a single cane. Their eyes widened. "Fool!" Excalibur exclaimed. "I said to don't do anything while I'm speaking! But I'm pretty much done speaking though." He flicked Mugen and Crown Clown away with that flimsy cane of his.

Allen and Kanda's eyes popped out.

"If you have time to waste your time on weak swords like that, then choose me instead!" Excalibur jumped into the air, magnificently did a backflip in the air and transformed back into a sword. "Now, young Exorcists! Come to a new world with me and paint your world into a refreshing day!"

As if they were being manipulated, Allen and Kanda's hands reached for the hilt of Excalibur, with their eyes shining with glee.

"A new world…" Allen mumbled.

"Hold your head high, young Exorcist!" Excalibur called out. "Your pride will never be thrown away!"

"Pride…" Kanda mumbled.

They both grabbed the hilt at the same time.

"That's right! A new world with pride!"

_Doosh_. Excalibur was stabbed right back to the stone.

"Huh? Huh? Hey, what's wrong? Don't you want a new world filled with pride? Hey, hey, HEY!"

"Ignore him," Kanda grumbled as he sheathed Mugen. "This guy has to be the most annoying guy I've ever known."

"Indeed," Allen agreed, deactivating his arm. "He's beyond the mysteries of stupidity."

"Hey! I'll let you listen to my song, so come back! Listen! Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United King—"

"SHUT UP!"

With that, they stomped out of the cave.

"So, did you bring him back?" Komui asked, smiling as he sipped his coffee.

Kanda and Allen wore a blank face. Suddenly, it twisted into a face with a wrinkled forehead and eyebrow, eyes flattened into the shape on flattened nuts, and the corner of their lip dragged down.

"Don't mention his name ever again."

Komui practically spat his coffee back out. _Maybe I should've sent someone else?_

Suddenly.

_Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to California~ Excalibur~ Excalibur—_

Excalibur waltzed into the room. "My era began—"

This time, even Komui's face twisted. "SHUT UP!"


End file.
